Clark Comedy

The law of contradiction requires that a word have a definite meaning. Now if a word has all possible meanings, it means nothing. Suppose there was a word in the dictionary and you look it up in the dictionary and the meanings were all other words in the dictionary. Suppose the word were automobile. The word automobile means cat, it means tree, it means the square root of minus one and so on and so on. In order to write a book all you’d have to say is auto auto auto auto auto auto auto – and that means the New York Yankees are going to win are going to win the pennant and the World Series next October. – Audio Lecture – Is Christianity a Religion Part 2, Minute 41

When a college professor retires and achieves a certain amount of senility he is sometimes invited in his remaining days and feeble strength to go here or there to give a lecture. On one occasion a gentleman was in that situation and he was able to keep going for an hour, much to the delight of at least some people in the audience for at the conclusion a woman came up to him and said “oh professor, your lecture was simply superfluous.” And he bowed and said “I’m glad you enjoyed it madam.” “Oh yes, she said, and I do expect it will be published.” “Yes, I have arranged for it to be published posthumously.” “Oh good, she said, I hope it comes out soon.” – Minute 1-2 Audio Lecture: A Defense of Christian Presuppositions in Light of Non-Christian Presupposition

Well, I guess we need a definition of faith or something. How do you distinguish between saving faith and temporary faith? If you will wait a year, as I have already done, my treatise on Faith and Saving Faith will be printed. But, oh boy, Craig is the slowest person on earth. He would have pleased Zeno the Eleatic with his exhibition of no motion. – Is Christianity a Religion, Part 3, min 37

Clark: The proposition “God Exists” he (Kant) says must be synthetic.

Student: Anselm and probably yourself would say that “God Exists” is an analytic?

Clark: No, I wouldn’t. Anselm would say it’s analytic. I would say it’s nonsense because existence has no meaning. A predicate that attaches to everything doesn’t mean anything. – Rationalism Min 45

Faith, or belief is a gift of God, and it is the Holy Ghost who regenerates the sinner and causes him to believe the truth the evangelist has presented. We never share our faith. That is a crazy phrase that has come up in the last ten years. You can’t share your faith. It is the Holy Spirit who gives a man faith. The evangelist can’t do it. You can’t argue a man into being a Christian. The task of the evangelist is to present the Gospel. Empiricism, Min 46

A researcher–a history professor from another state–came across an exam that Dr. Gordon Clark gave to the students at Wheaton College in 1939. The exam consisted of one question: “Explain what is right and good, and why.” – Wayne Sparkman
That is the standard orthodox position all the way back from Athanasius. Van Til denounces this and says that the Trinity is both 1 person and 3 persons. And he calls this a paradox . . . which is putting it mildly.